"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
