I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
