Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
