Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
