And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
