i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
