Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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