btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize