a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
