His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Come on in and take your pants off
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