i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
