My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
