OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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