hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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