hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
