hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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