I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
