Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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