Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
