i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
