if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She bit a glass in half.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
