so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
