Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
