just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
dude. I can hear the air.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
