You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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