she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
