Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We are two peas in an std pod
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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