so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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