My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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