I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
