He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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