it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
