i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
