no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize