the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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