Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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