He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
