; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
