I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
