I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
