Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
