So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You are a genius and a whore.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
