just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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