so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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