I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
