Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
