my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
