Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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