I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
