My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize