I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
