Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
