Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize