Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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