I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
